Thursday, 29 June 2017


Starring Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau, Zendaya, Donald Glover, Tyne Daly, Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. Written by Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley, Jon Watts, Christopher Ford, Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, from a story by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley. Directed by Jon Watts. Running time 133 minutes. Budget $175 million. Cert 12A.


On my sweet, mother funking lord, how is this possible? How is it that a franchise now into its sixth movie, a series slowly murderised over the past three outings, and offering us yet another iteration and origin of its lead character, in a painfully short history suddenly be so, so utterly...

I mean, hand-on-heart, no bull-shit. This is arguably, not only, the single best Spider-Man film ever made, it's also one of the best super-hero movies EVER made! The only down side is, I seriously doubt we're ever going to see a better Spider-Man film than this, I fear it's going to be downhill from now! I mean I loved the very first two movies, the ones starring Tobey Maguire and directed by Sam Raimi. The second of which was my favourite Spider-Man film right up until this last night when I saw this.

Seriously, EVERYTHING about this movie is note perfect, from the casting, the script, the plot, the structure of the movie, the final showdown, everything! The portrayal of Peter Parker (Tom Holland – who has just secured himself a glittering career), his life at school, his relationship with Aunt May (Marisa Tomei), his relationship with Ned, his best friend (Jacob Batalon) who had the potential to be annoying but isn't, Christ I could list everyone, but it's not fair to single out any one performance, because EVERY ONE in this film are great! Including Michael Keaton who doesn't overwhelm the movie, he brings such a languid, depth to this with a performance of real balance. GOD I LOVED THIS FILM, LOVED IT!!!!

At one point the audience erupted into spontaneous applause at a plot reveal that was so surprising, so unexpected and so fantastically handled and the last time that happened was during Saving Private Ryan when Vin Dissel got shot.

Look, no word of a lie, this was just fantastic! Honestly, I can't fault it. Doing away with a huge global, spinning vortex of doom, seen in very nearly every-single super hero film ever made, doing away with a massive dude showdown and instead just focusing on character, plot and story. I mean, who'd have thunked it that just focusing on those three simple elements you could get a film this great? Even Spider-Man's origin is dealt with in this film, but only if you're listening, it's revealed in a conversation and takes up two sentences. This was everything that the two wretched Marc Webb abominations weren't. And I'm willing to bet that the morning after this opens, DC are going to start crying and tearing their hair out in desperation as they stare at the mess of a movie that Justice League is going to be. It could be argued that someone at Marvel, possibly Kevin Feige sold his soul to the devil?

I could go on and on, pouring praise on this movie, but the thing is, I don't want to. I want you to go and see it, without as little knowledge as possible, so I'm not going to talk about the plot, I'm not going to describe anything about particular scenes or any of that stuff. I went in blind and it was great. I would, hand-on-heart, recommend this even to a man lying on his death bed with only two hours and 20 minutes of life left.

I thought Wonder Woman would be the best super hero film of the year, but I'm sorry to say that its reign has ended after only three weeks, cos this new Spider-Man film will now be the new benchmark by which we rate every subsequent super hero films!

If you've ever wanted to know what it would be like to be a 15-year old superhero with great power, then this is the film for you.

Honestly go and see it, be first in line. This is a joyous, exhilerating and utterly delightful superhero film, that not only stands head and shoulders above any of its predecessors, but also as one of the single best superhero films ever made.

A perfect 10/10.

Second time round, it's still a solid 10/10. My only problem is whether to describe this movie as amazingly spectacular or just spectacularly amazing.

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