Tuesday, 23 February 2016


Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson and Penelope Cruz. Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Phil Johnston and Peter Baynham. Directed by Louis Leterier. Budget unknown, running time 83 minutes.

Sacha Baron Cohen is the genius behind the incredible scientific breakthru that is Grimsby. Because he has found away of prolonging life itself, or at least the appearance of extending life itself, by making 83 minutes feel more like 166 minutes.

Whether you find this movie funny or not all depends on whether or not you find forced oral sex both human and animal funny. If you do, then boy are you in for one hell of a treat! Indeed by the end of this cinematic pre-ejaculate, you'll probably have literally bust a nut through laughter. Because this film has three utterly hilarious sequences that pushes gross-out humour further than any film I've seen since 2001's Freddy Got Fingered. And like that previous film this too is as funny as anal polyps.

The plot sees two Grimsby brothers separated as young boys, one, Sebastian – Mark Strong, gets adopted, moves away and grows up to be a super spy. The other, Nobby – Sacha Baron Cohen, stays behind in Grimsby to become a loving, obese-obsessed father of 11 children and husband of Rebel Wilson. Then, after 28 years of fruitless searching, and through sheer plot point alone, Nobby tracks his brother down while the later is on a top secret mission to prevent an assassination. After that the brothers are forced to go on the run and bond all the way from Grimsby to Chile, for the World Cup Final between England and German, via South Africa. In between that are countless unfunny and cringe-inducing scenes sandwiched between incredibly gross out sequences that will make you laugh through sheer shock and nothing more.

What makes this even the more extraordinary is that Mark Strong (forever more to be known as Teflon Strong) somehow comes out of this cinematic abomination with no damage to his reputation whatsoever, indeed his acting is so against type it beggars belief and he is forced to do things in the name of paying off his mortgage that will frankly brings tears to your eyes in sympathy and shocked laughter. No sympathy whatsoever should be given to Sacha Baron Cohen who has to take full shame for this dreadful film. With no shred of irony or subtly Cohen barrels through this film like some sort of detritus-filled Tsunami of shit, delivering a sleazy performance that will leave you literally squirming uncomfortably in your seat.

The trailer which despite strongly indicaing what you're in for but still can't truly prepare you for this movie and although you will laugh, most likely despite yourself, you won't feel good about it afterwards and you'll probably find yourself washing extra hard that night in the bath to scrub the shame from your body.

Seriously all this does is prove that Sacha had one funny idea in his head (Ali G) and that was it. What this is is a gross-out spy parody which is so eager to not offend Grimsby in its portrait of that town that it thinks going from heavy insult to patronising rabble rousing makes the presentation of that town okay. Indeed, this film gets away with some serious racism by shouting, 'this is a comedy!' at the top of its lungs.

So is it any good? Well, the answer is in the title. This is Grim with a capital B, for bloody awful!


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