Tuesday, 28 July 2015

#51 PIXELS

#51 PIXELS



Starring Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage, Kevin James, Josh Gad, Michelle Monaghan, Sean Bean and Brian Cox. Written by Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling. Directed by Chris Colombus. 105 long minutes.

In 1982 a space probe is launched into space with footage of a video arcarde tournament. 33 years later a bunch of aliens come to Earth and wage war on us, using giant versions of video game characters and only the US President, Kevin James, uber gamer Adam Sandler and Peter Dinklage can save us. What follows is a series of ball-achingly uninteresting and uninvolving battles where the aliens win the first two matches and we win the next three, culminating in a giant game of Donkey Kong.


A genuinely dull and un-involving piece of crap, with terribly miss-cast roles, seriously Kevin James as the President and Adam Sandler in anything? This takes an absolute age to get going and when it finally does, vehemently remains in first gear for the remainder of the film, there are no ups or downs, just the same old dirge of tedium from beginning to end. Events happen, but nothing's explained, the aliens are never seen, the rules work when they have to then are conveniently ignored when necessary. Actors are wheeled in for some shits and giggles and then wheeled off. Brian Cox gives one of the worst performances I've ever seen, while Sean Bean reaches new heights of banality. But it's not just the Brits who do themselves no favours. Adam Sandler does his creepy 'smarmy' thing, where he gently convinces everyone to love him, while Kevin James pulls out his loveable, but dim, fat man routine and the rest of the cast are just vile.

To think this was directed by Chris Colombus, who wrote the Goonies, Gremlins and Young Sherlock Holmes and directed two Harry Potters, two Home Alones and Mrs Doubtfire. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

I sat there stoney faced through out the entire film and didn't laugh once, unlike the audience I saw this with who howled through out, laughing at every single joke, which surprised me cos I don't think there was one.

Sadly I went in expecting a total train wreck of a movie, and all I got was a delayed service due to an earlier late running train. Oh and don't bother with the 3D, it'll just give you one more dimension to be disappointed in.

2/10

 

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