Saturday, 4 July 2015



Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jai Courtney, Emilia Clarke, Jason Clarkeand J.K. Simmons. Written by Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier and directed by Alan Taylor. 122 minutes long.

This is the bit in my reviews where I try to write a summation of the plot, without revealing too much and trying to be as succinct as possible and if I could I would, but I can't, so I won't.

The fifth entry in the Terminator series, following a failed reboot with Terminator Salvation sees the old adage of: "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality by offering, not a reboot, a re-imagining or a remake but a greatest hits compilation with all your favourite bits taken from the first two films with the other two deliberately ignored, despite the fact the third one is quite fun. So, if you liked the bit in T2 where the liquid metal robot emerged from the fire, here it is again! And if your favourite bit was in Terminator where the naked Arnie asked Bill Paxton for his clothes then, well now you can relive that bit too, or the motor bike chase from T2, or the helicopter bit, or the good Arnie robot with a hilarious line in put downs and blah blah blah, all served with a twist that it's not Sarah Connor played by Meilia Clarke who needs saving, it's Jai Courtney's Kyle Reese playing the damsel in distress who needs the strong arms of a feisty, strong, strong-willed, sassy, self-sufficient and independent woman to save him from fire and the big bad robots, like all good re-visionary action flicks, it's a lesson they learned from watching washing ads on TV where the men are fucktards and all the women are smart.

Doing away with the need for a coherent plot, this film offers a bewildering and relentless bounce around the Terminator time line with stop off in various times to catch up with old dialogue, which means that most of this film's best lines were written by James Cameron.

Genisys is a film that, recognizing it's audience needs to be spoon fed the plot, story and motivation, carefully, makes sure it takes gentle baby steps all the way, with characters, stopping what they're doing to turn to the camera and in a soft, non-threating tone, explaining everything carefully before moving onto the next action sequence. and if you might spot a mistake you'll be cheerfully distracted by the next cg bloated action set-piece featuring loads of guns and lots and lots of bullets.

As the film progressed my enthusiasm waned, it started high and I found myself quite enthralled by it, but once we'd meet up with Arnie and then naffed off into the future from the past I was beginning to get a little bored out by it. Plus the bit that's revealed in the trailer where John Connor has seemingly gone bad then I'm sorry to say I'd had enough and from then on it just became a stupid silly film with stupid justifications and stupid rules invented to support the bloated, bewildered and stupid plot which has nothing to say and then chooses to say it very loudly.

BTW, you'll need to sit through the credits otherwise you'll miss the mid credit clip that sets up the possible sequel.

So sit back, and just ignore the stupidity of characters and the 101 other things that make this just another Jurassic World but with robots not dinosaurs and you'll be fine, it's entertaining in a way, if you like your action fast and flashy, your explosions big and fiery and your battle field gore minimal and non bloody.

However, go in expecting something as fresh or original as the Terminator and you'll sadly come out depressed by the lack of vision that seems to pollute all modern Hollywood blockbusters. Indeed just add this to the growing pile of films that leave 2015 marked out as the year of Meh and wait in line for the next summer blockbuster, perhaps that one will be better.



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