Saturday, 20 June 2015

#39 ENTOURAGE

#39 ENTOURAGE


 














(WARNING: CONTAINS SWEARING)

Starring four people I don't know, loads of cameos of actors who should have known better and Liam Nesson who gives this film the respect it deserves by giving it the middle finger and not speaking.


Couldn't give a shit who wrote or directed this piece of crap.

104 laugh-free minutes long.

Never watched the TV show, of which this is a spin off, but decided that didn't mean I shouldn't give the film a go, I like the idea of a film about the making of a film and the behind the scenes of Hollywood. What a shame I didn't listen to that small dingling sense of doubt I had.

 The plot for what it's worth, and believe me it's not, is that the main bloke who has the Entourage gets to make a film, which he then directs, goes over his £100 million budget and has to get his old manager, now Head of a major film studio, to get pony up an extra £10 mil so he can finish it off. This requires Jermey Priven, the Head, to visit the film's financiers - Texan oil billionaires, Billy Bob Thornton and his son Haley Joel Osment and ask for the money. After that, many characters talk about how great the film within a film is and we get to see one scene which really doesn't look like much, while the Entourage drives around in a series of fantastic cars talking shit, literal shit, it spews from their mouths in gouts of brown, stinking effluent.

Then there's some shit about one of the Entourage's ex-wife having a baby, while her ex-husband, who wants to get back with her shags other women to prove he still loves her. Oh and one of the others wants to date a female mixed-martial artist and lets her break his arm to prove it, while the fourth - the brother of Matt Dillon films himself masturbating on his mobile for the benefit of his girlfriend who's dating someone else. Oh and Piers fucking Morgan bookends the film with some truly sickening faux interviewing, Piers fucking Morgan. This film is vile.

Tthis film is about four over-privileged, talentless, rich-shits driving around being sexist, having sex with eager young women, talking about sex and dealing with the effects, or not, of having sex, but only straight sex with insanely sexy, young women. Indeed all women in this film, apart from three, are treated as objects to be owned, talked about or thrown away after being fucked. And of those three, one is in labour so unable to have sex, another is a high ranking film executive who's there to be the butt of a joke and the third is Priven's character's wife.

There is nothing to recommend this stinking, steaming sac of shit, even if you were a fan of the TV show and it has even fewer jokes than 12 Years a Slave. 

1/10



1 comment:

  1. 'Even fewer jokes that 12 Years A Slave'

    Sold :-)

    The trailer for this came on before Mad Max, and that buoyant audience eager for MadMaxery who had laughed, cheered, sneered at other trailers went silent... no one reacted, not even a cinema wide shrug. Nothing.
    Obviously they were STILL being overly enthusiastic...

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