Tuesday, 26 May 2015

#36 SAN ANDREAS

#36 SAN ANDREAS



Starring Dywane Johnson, Alexandra Daddario, Carla Gugino, Colton Hayes,  Paul Giamatti, Ioan Gruffudd and Kylie Minogue. Written by: Carlton Cuse, Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Allan Loeb, Jeremy Passmore, Andre Fabrizio. Directed by Brad Peyton.
107 minutes long.

Grieving dad, Dywane Johnson flies helicopter rescue missions. His soon to be ex wife, Carla Gugino and their surviving grown up daughter, Alexandra Daddario are about to move in with mum's uber rich industrialist boyfriend, Ioan Gruffudd and speccy nerd scientist, Paul Giamatti has just discovered how to predict earthquakes literally seconds before they hit – (everything starts shaking). And British engineer Colton Hayes is applying for a job at Ioan's big office block on the day Alexandra visits the office and a 9.6 earth quake hits San Fransico and the San Andreas fault line, a day after the Hoover Dam collapses thanks to an earthquake. And that's all you really need to know, cos after that it's disaster time, and I'm not just talking about the awful dialogue or the cliched plot, for god's sake, man this is a disaster movie! What did you expect? Things fall over, things explode, things flood, things sink, things fall into other things and a huge tsunami hits town for some shits and giggles. Along the way a few people die on screen, but not too many cos this is a 12 A after all and there's absolutely no blood!


This really has nothing that much to recommend it. It certainly isn't 2012, it's a thinly made remake of Earthquake with Dywane doing a Charlton Heston, and no that's not a euphemism for some bizarre sexual practice. He's the Rock, stoic, heroic and dynamic. His soon-to-be together again exwife is also balls out brave and heroic as is their daughter who spends the film saving her future wife, Colton Hayes and his brother time after time. Oh and Kylie Minogue turns up long enough to get a credit than exits stage right.

This is fun while the disasters are smacking the shit out of everything but crushingly uninteresting when it's just one character emoting like it's Oscar season to another. Finally, don't bother with the 3D, it's fun while it's things crashing but not so much when it's not, which is most the film.


6/10 for the effects.

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