Sunday, 1 June 2014


Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Liam Nesson,   
Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman.

Written and directed by MacFalane. 116 minutes long, really long.

Seth MacFarlane, plays himself as a man out of time alive in the 1882s who really should be alive in the 21st century making animated shows but instead he's living as a sheep farmer in the wild wild west in a frontier town called Old Stump and pointing out how horrible a time it is, when he's not proving what a terrible shot and coward he is. Liam Nesson is a bandit who leaves his wife, Charlize Theron (also out of her time) in the town so she and Seth can develop a relationship in time, at the start of the third act, for Liam to come back looking to kill the man who kissed his wife.

In between, everybody makes lame jokes, Sarah Silverman does her schtick about sex, Neil Patrick Harris does what he does and Seth makes a lots of hilarious observations that worked extremely well in the red banner trailer, which had the distinction of being 113 minutes shorter. Actually to save you two hours of your life, here's that very same trailer.

Beyond that this is a very dull, boring and unfunny film. Seth has a face made for voice over work and too many of the characters appear far too anachronistic to the plot.

It's not all bad, the sound track is fun, the scenery is breath-taking, filmed in Monument Valley USA and there are a few moments where I'm sure I heard the odd ripple of tittering drift around the auditorium, well that and the odd embarrassed peel of chortling at the sign of a man shitting into two hats and a sheep pissing into the face of another man.

The county fair is fun, but that's in the trailer, the ice block is fun, that's also in the trailer, the sequence with the tart with a heart and her fiance is fun, but they're in the trailer and the doctor is there, but he's ONLY in the trailer, he doesn't appear in the finished film. Maybe they're holding him back for the uncut dvd?

Also the title is wrong. After this film, there's now a Million and One ways to Die in the West. And I craved each and every one of them while watching this turkey.


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