#17 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE
A sequel to the 2007 film, 300 that made, for a blink of an eye, a star of out Gerald Butler, who then squandered all the good will he'd earned with a series of woeful and awful romantic comedies and the trilogy of horrific awfulness that was: Rocknrolla, Gamer and the Bounty Hunter.
So, if you've seen the original, it's more of the same, but this time with lots of Eva Green's fantastic norks! Last time it was the Spartans, this time it's the Australian Greeks fighting a ridiculous man-god called Xerses.
Lots of sweaty men in leather jockstraps doing impossible things, thanks to CGI and having lots and lots of big fights, a lot of which happen on boats, all performed in front of a gigantic CGI green-screen. Huge gouts of chocolate sauce spurt out of every axe and sword wound and the whole thing is delivered in serious and deeply earnest tones. The whole thing is far too serious for its own good, but does benefit from some righteously ott action scenes and violence and a fantastic sex scene on top of a giant Risk board, where Eva releases both her Krakens to awesome effect, especially if you're watching the whole thing in 3D, which thank god, I was.
Great fun. 7/10