Saturday, 2 February 2013

FILM #14 BULLET TO THE HEAD (2.2.13)

FILM #14 BULLET TO THE HEAD

(SPOILER ALERT)


It's recipe time! Take a meaty dollop of Stallone and add some Walter Hill, sprinkle with the next big action hero, Jason Momoa as the baddie, mix in a pinch of Christian Slater and season with Sung Kang. Bake for 91 minutes and what do you get?

(GET READY)

I'll tell you what. A great big, steaming, pile of shit by the name of Bullet to the Head. Actually after sitting through it I'd have to say I'd happily take a real bullet to the face rather than sit through it again.

(HERE IT COMES!)

Boring, lazy, dull. Filled with stupid characters, idiotic villains and bland action scenes made worse by a dreadful, repetitive soundtrack of New Orleans guitar jazz.

(ALMOST THERE...)

If you've seen the trailer you know there's what looks like an exciting axe fight between Stallone and Momoa and if you've seen enough films you'll know that it's going to be the final showdown between these two men. Let me save you the pain and tell you it's not worth waiting for. (LAST CHANCE TO STOP READING BEFORE I REVEAL WHAT HAPPENS) Stallone doesn't actually beat him, his sidekick, Sung Kang (the world's shittest cop) does by shooting him twice in the head, hence the title, I suppose.

Luckily there's a fair amount of nudity in this film, otherwise there'd be almost nothing to recommend it.

3/10

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